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Margaret Paul, Ph.D.'s Articles

  • 7 Step "Tongue-in-Cheek" Guide to Never Having an Experience of God
    Are you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way
  • 7 Step Guide to Creating a Life of Substance Abuse
    While it is probable that no one consciously sets out to create a life of substance abuse, those who end up addicted to substances are choosing certain thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that will likely end up leading to some form of substance abuse - drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, junk food, sugar, and/or caffeine
  • 7 Step Guide To Staying Completely Stuck In Your Life
    Are you stuck in your life Do you receive some satisfaction from staying stuck and from no one being able to help you get unstuck
  • A Major Cause Of Relationship Problems
    We all know that relationships are very challenging 52% of married people reach their 15th anniversary and only 33% reach their 25th anniversary
  • Caring: For Outcomes or For Joy
    Many people have the ability to truly care and receive joy when caring from the heart Yet even very caring people sometimes find themselves using caring as a form of control
  • Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames
    Have you ever had an argument with someone - a partner, spouse, close friend, child, parent or other relative, or a business associate - that started small and spiraled into an intense conflict Have you ever scratched your head, wondering how it got so out of control
  • Do You Feel Free?
    "…no one ever pushes you toward freedom You need to take that for yourself
  • Everyday Creativity
    Do you tell yourself that you are not a creative person because you can't draw or play an instrument or write poetry I often hear many of my clients bemoan, "I'm not creative
  • Fear Of Death
    "The modern tradition of equating death with an ensuing nothingness can be abandoned For there is no reason to believe that human death severs the quality of the oneness in the universe
  • Fear Of Failure
    Failure What do you feel when you think about failure
  • Gratitude vs. Complaining
    "All happy people are grateful Ungrateful people cannot be happy
  • He's Trying To Control Me
    "I know what's coming when Robert says that we need to sit down and have a talk," Maryann told me in our phone session "He wants to tell me everything that is wrong with me
  • Intimacy With Yourself
    Over the 40 years that I have been counseling individual and couples, I have very often worked with people who are considering leaving their marriage Often they say things like:

    * I no longer feel close or intimate with my spouse
  • Is The Law Of Attraction Bringing You What You Want?
    Many people on a personal and spiritual growth path have read about the law of attraction Simply stated, this law says that like attracts like, which means, in a general sense, that happiness draws happiness and misery draws misery
  • Marriage: Self-Care And Remembering The Good Stuff
    Are you finding yourself irritated with your spouse lately Are you having problems remembering why you love this person - or why you even got married in the first place
  • Moving Beyond Negative Emotions
    "Sooner or later, all of us must see that negative feelings toward another person is like tossing dust at him while the wind blows against us It all comes back
  • Parenting Adolescents When You Have Changed The Rules
    Marilee had grown up with very strict authoritarian parents, and decided that when she had children she would not be controlling with them the way her parents had been with her Unfortunately, the only thing she knew to do was to be a permissive parent, which meant that instead of controlling her children, her children controlled her
  • Problems Sleeping?
    Insomnia is quite common in our society While there many different reasons for sleep problems - such as poor diet, too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, too much caffeine, or lack of exercise - I want to share two major causes and the solutions to these
  • Responsibility vs. Fault
    In my counseling practice, I often hear people saying things like:

    "It's my fault that she asked for a divorce If I hadn't worked so much, she wouldn't have left
  • Self Improvement: Leisure Time, Retirement Time
    You've worked all your life and now you are looking forward to retirement How will you spend your time
  • Self-Help: Healing Your Broken Heart
    Haley, 38, consulted with me because her boyfriend had just broken up with her Shocked and broken-hearted, she tearfully told me about how wonderful he was and about how she didn't know how she could survive this break up
  • The Challenge Of Good Nutrition
    "Eat more carbohydrates"
    "Eat more protein
  • The Incredible Power Of Intent
    Imagine two big spotlights One is pointed upward, casting light far into the air
  • The Wanting Mind, Part 1
    "This force [that keeps us always wanting] is known in several Buddhist traditions as the Wanting Mind The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has
  • What Does It Mean To Have Integrity?
    When I was in school training to be a psychotherapist, one of my professors introduced me to a concept that I find very valuable: "bad faith"

    We are in bad faith with ourselves and others when we are out of alignment with what is true for "who we really are
  • What Should My Child Be Eating For Optimal Health?
    Understanding healthy eating has become a huge challenge in our society Our ancestors living thousands of years ago did not have this challenge
  • Why Do So Many People Lack Integrity?
    "By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascents to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descents below the level of the beast Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master

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