Len Stauffenger's Articles - New Age Living Articles

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Len Stauffenger's Articles

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Don't Make Your Child the Messenger In your single parenting experience, have you been inadvertently placing a burden on your children by turning them into information seekers or messengers between you and your ex? It's unfair to foist that job off on them. Summon up some courage and consider doing it yourself. Have You Created a Parenting Plan? "Just winging it" should not be an option for divorced parents. A parenting plan should be created by both parents and then distributed to those with a need to know, like grandparents and school, if necessary. And here's how.... Do The Apples Always Fall Close to the Tree? Have people told you "You're just like your mother?" or "You're just like your father?" We all have parents, but the personas we've grown since our birth is ours alone and deserves full attention. Discovering your individuality might be the main fallout from your divorce. Splitting Up the Properties in a Divorce Not a high percentage of divorces have equitable property settlements or spousal support agreements. Read on for ideas about what to include in your settlement. The Priviledge of Being An Influence for Your Kids When divorce happens to you and you are the parent left with the raising and influence of the kids, what kind of an influence are you? Here are some tips about what children really want and need from you. Now That You're Divorced, Do You Have a Great Parenting Plan? When you are a divorced parent, you've got your hands quite full. You never thought your divorce would involve all these details and all these decisions. It's very easy to slide into overwhelm. Here are some tips from a successful divorced dad to help you jump these hurdles. This Can't Be Happening To Me! Can you figure out which stage you might be in for your divorce? Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger spells it out for you and it's very similar to the stages one goes through upon the death of a loved one. Hang in there. Eventually you will complete all the stages. Happiness is on the other side. Creating a Great Parenting Plan Do you have a Parenting Plan for raising your kids now that you are a single, divorced parent? It will help you make it through the tough times of your divorce. Tell Your Kids The Truth About Your Ex But Drop Off The Blame Consider exercising great caution and restraint when you speak about your ex within earshot of your children. They still love him/her and it causes them great pain to hear you put them down. The Joy of Sharing Custody When you are divorced and you have children, one of the stickiest things you have to handle is the interface required with your ex. Here is the wisdom from one Divorced Dad. Establishing Yourself As Your Child's Moral Authority Establishing a strong moral foundation for your children and patterning moral behavior will help them through their first time of seeing someone naked in a magazine as it did me. When You Badmouth Your Ex Something horrible has happened between you and the person you fell in love with and got married to. You've decided to divorce. Your children did not have the same experience with your ex and should not be subjected to your evil feelings about him or her. Who Are We Gonna Live With, Dad? Three simple steps to help you maintain your emotions when deciding on the custody of your children during a divorce proceeding. Len Stauffenger, Divorced Dad, shares this common sense article to help you from becoming a second-divorce statistic. Can Your Kids Really Trust You? Divorce is wrought with disappointment because of the broken promise of a two-parent family. In this article, Divorced Dad Len Stauffenger provides some practical tips to re-grow that trust with your kids and preventing yet another divorce. Love not Fear If you are in the throes of a divorce, you're probably on one of the strongest emotional roller coaster rides of your life. This splendid article provides practical tips for supplanting your fear with love. How Your Past Creates Your Future You might be amazed when you read this article how much of the past you are dragging into today's conversations and interfaces. You might cringe to learn how you are losing your present to your past. This old, not-working habit deserves your attention in changing it. Frazzled Divorced Parents Still Find A Way to Listen Attentively Listening to your children is one of the most important tasks as a divorced parent. It's not always easy due to your very full plate. Here are some great ideas to help you focus on your kids. Are You Strong Enough to Forgive Your Ex? Four practical tips from Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger, for putting out the fire of emotions caused from divorce and putting your kids' welfare first. Not Guilty! If you are a divorced parent with kids who seem to "make you feel guilty," these words of wisdom will help you nip that guilt in the bud, help keep your kids from manipulating you, and keep the specter of a second divorce away. Little Ears Are Listening...And Cringing. When divorced parents expend a lot of energy pointing fingers of blame at one another, the children suffer. Here are some interesting words to help you become more objective for your children's sake. Walk Away and Breathe Going through a divorce can really stir up emotions like margaritas in a blender. But if you're going to be the best parent for your kids, you need to turn the blender off and learn how to keep your cool. When Not Being "Enough" Was the Cause of Your Divorce When you're going through a divorce, we frequently experience our ex being defensive about his/her role in the divorce, when he or she might well have been the one who cheated! Let's be sure we don't assume blame that isn't ours to bear. Alone Time for Divorced Parents ' You Need It. Divorced parents seldom have enough time for themselves. Here are three practical tips to help you create that much needed alone time. Have You Forgiven Your Ex? It's Important to Your Kids. Parenthood is a privilege. You have one choice opportunity to help your children become successful, happy adults. You can't do this until you forgive their other parent. Here's how. Monkey in the Middle During a divorce and long after it's final, your children will be asking you questions that make you squirm. Making them feel awful about the other parent that they still love is playing dirty. Find Out Who You Are And Get Comfortable With The I of You You think that because the hammer of divorce has knocked you upside your head, it's shameful, painful, and a terrifying life that you're stuck with. Wrong! You're in the midst of a wonderful gift. Finally Ready to Meet the One? When you get divorced, how long should you wait before you begin to date again? Only your children should be considered in answering this question. Family Influences ' They Mean Well, but in the long run, YOU make the decisions. Everybody has a family of some kind. Some are great. Some are challenging. It's up to you how you accept their influences. You Can Control Happiness by Controlling Expectation We all want to be happy. Divorce and happy sometimes don't seem to go together. Actually, though, you can control happiness if you'll watch your expectations. How to Overcome The Shame Of Being Divorced If you feel ashamed because you got a divorce or if the pressures from your friends and family make you feel like a failure, here's a little shot in the arm that will support you and encourage you to grow pat the blame and the shame. Don't Let the Banshee of Divorce Slam You with Guilt or Blame Divorce seldom enters one's life as a happy thing. It's usually accompanied by shock, blame, guilt, remorse, and a lot of "why me's?" Here are some keen insights into blame and guilt that can create a bit of ease for you. Success in Parenting with these Communication Techniques If you try any one of these eight communicating with children tips a try, your success in parenting and your communication with your kids will both benefit. Divorce Hurts. Individual Responsibility Heals. In the early days of the processing through your divorce, the emotional pain can be incapacitating. You might experience a whole range of emotions that hurt. Searching for the role you played in this can create the release you ardently seek. How You May Have Orchestrated Your Own Divorce Our dreams of perfect relationship, perfect marriage, perfect parenting don't always play out the way we'd like them to. Divorce happens. Learn about the role YOU might have played in your divorce. Control Your Emotions Actors are trained to express their emotions on command. This kind of control is a wonderful skill. Have you ever considered exercising control over your emotions? Your Kids Deserve Your Complete Attention Hurried and harried parents sometimes forget that one of the best gifts they can give their kids is to be fully present with them. Here's how. You Can Hide Your Goat and Avoid Being Emotionally Triggered When you're newly divorced, your feelings get to slam dance. Later on, you'll really want to become more reasonable, more objective and this article tells you precisely how to get that done. A Second Set of Tips for Effective Parenting You want your kids to have the best and you've only got one chance to create the kind of adult you want them to be: thoughtful, enthusiastic, productive, loving and hardworking. These tips complete last month's list of effective parenting tips to help you with this challenging task. Are You Using These Five Effective Parenting Tips? If you use these effective parenting tips, you'll be on your way to a healthy and happier relationship with your children. Look for five more tips in our next installment in this series. Raising Successful Children - Are You a Good Role Model? If you want your kids to be successful, help them become smart children by seeing the steps you are taking or have taken to become successful yourself. The Top Five Divorce Mistakes: Are You Making These Common Mistakes During Your Divorce? Here are the five critical mistakes divorced men and women make when filing for divorce. Learn them now and head off subsequent problems at the pass! How Much Achievement is Good Enough for Your Children? How much does your child need to achieve before you seem him or her as a success? Four Key Tips to Providing A Balanced Life for Your Kids When you know the four parts to life's mental sandwich, you can insure that your kids are living a balanced life.

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