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What Can You Do For Me?

By: Ann Golden Egle

We all know Claire: she lives a fast and furious life. Her work and her home time involve a chock full schedule. She's a fast mover and fast talker. She is so proud of this as well as her ability to learn quickly; she's proud of her expertise. Claire silently chastises those who move more slowly than she does or who slow her down with questions.

What Claire is missing in her 'fast and furious' pace is her influence on those around her, those on whom she depends and who depend on her. One-by-one, she is alienating co-workers, associates and friends alike.

What's Claire's main challenge? She sees others not as individuals, but through the role they play in her life - what they can do for her. If she viewed them as individuals, she'd see how her manner of speaking is affecting them, and she'd see how it affects the results they produce for her. She would see how uncomfortable people have become around her.

We can deliver the very same message with varying affects on others. We can inspire them, soliciting enthusiasm and eagerness to cooperate. We can educate, softly sharing our wisdom or unique perspective. We can steam-roll over them resulting in confusion, resentment, uncertainty and perhaps tears. Can you imagine the impact Claire had on her receivers?

There are many subtleties in the way people actually hear what we are saying. Each of us is more transparent than we think. First, look directly into the eyes of the person to whom you are addressing. Who is this person? What are their concerns? What motivates them?

Does this individual move at a fast pace, meaning that we need to be succinct? Are they detail-oriented, needing backup material? Would they need more information or are they already comfortable with the data? Is their mind elsewhere presently, meaning that this is not an appropriate time? What is their incentive to cooperate or even listen to you?

Taking time to answer these questions will help you focus on the recipient, not merely yourself; time to notice subtleties that work best to get your message across effectively such as pace, vocal tone, amount of information and whether to put your message in the form of a question, a statement or even in writing.

Finally, looking at your recipient as an individual allows you to engage two of your most basic emotional needs in relationships—respect and appreciation. A touch of humor (not sarcasm) appropriately tossed in lightens every setting.

Once Claire treats her team as humans trying to do their best, foibles and all, her messages will be received in such a manner to elicit amazing cooperation, which will in turn take many things off her plate and result in a better, more productive environment all the way around.

This is a great week to learn more about how you look at those with whom you communicate? Do you deliver messages fast and furious? How do you leave your recipients—eager to cooperate and become more creative in their work for you or resentful, even angry? Do you berate them in your mind if they aren't a fast learner? Must they all be an expert in their field? Or is there another way? Enjoy your discoveries!

Article Source: http://www.newagelivingarticles.com

For the sake of keeping your career fresh and on track, would you like to enjoy a weekly shot-in-the-arm from Master Certified Coach Ann Golden Eglé? You can sign up for her free weekly ezine, The Success Thought of the Week, at www.gvsuccesscoaching.com .

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