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Finding Happiness

By: Mr. P. Booker

ONE MAJOR STEP FORWARD

This major step forward is based upon acceptance and admission. Unless you do this you cannot move forward.

Allow me to illustrate. I use this example as it had meant so much to those who I’ve talked to in the past but may bear no relevance to you at all. The point however is to illustrate acceptance and admission.

Try and tell a friend or colleague they have the signs of being an alcoholic. No doubt they will refuse to accept your comments. You may attempt in several ways to confirm this position, but the alcoholic cannot see.

It is not until they accept and admit they have a problem before they can move on.

If therefore you want to be happier, it would follow that a few aspects of your life may require the same principle applying. You’ll need to admit and accept that there is a hindrance holding you back in any advancement. Without using this admission you’re preventing the chance of moving forward. To defend your position will only attract more of the same; in affect you’ll gather more and more justifications that your present ‘stand point’ is right.

NATURAL DEFENCE MECHANISM

What most people do is to erect a comfort zone often supported by data, experience and resolution. They assume therefore that while ever they reside in it they are happy.

It is a commonly known psychology theory that you ‘attract what you defend’. If you defend a jealousy, you’ll find that more and more situations arise to test the theory of that jealousy. This defense mechanism is based upon data, for example, you got hurt before so you’ll get hurt again.

This mechanism may not function exactly how you originally planned it to work. Within the next year; and by reading this book and practicing the many directions it takes you, I would hope that I can lower those defenses and allow happiness alone to be your defense.

Words can be powerful and very limiting. For example… Embrace a new insight but don’t cherish it. Two words embrace and cherish. Just see as I continue how these two words can either encourage or limit your mood. To embrace is all encompassing, it suggests a boundless enthusiasm. To cherish, although quaint, pretty, charming and an attractive word to say could set an immediate limit to your progress. In the ladder of success, you’re cherishing prevents any further rungs being attained.

OTHER THAN HAPPY

To fail is a choice, to be sad is a choice, to be happy is a choice. If you are anything other than happy you have chosen to allow the pull of that emotion to take control.

Optimists are generally happier than pessimists, but don’t forget to have a balance – let’s say 80 – 20 to favour the optimist. We all have faith in something, but it remains healthy to question that faith occasionally to make sure it is relevant to your life.

Trying to copy another person’s path may not be right for you. We must acknowledge the beauty of another’s path and learn from their advances. Apply similarities, but ultimately tread your own path.

ACCEPTANCE IS NOT DEFEAT

Contrary to popular belief acceptance is not defeat. In reality it is the start of a new chapter. To toil with existing problems will only result a year down the line with a slight variation of where you are now. Acceptance allows new ideas and concepts to flood in and thus we have harmony and prosperity.

MISTAKES

We all make them, and more importantly they will always happen. But the value of that mistake will only materialize in happiness.

Every costly lesson will result in exponentially greater success in the longer term.

We can either be sad about our mistakes or be positive and happy. If we are sad we learn nothing and climb back behind our defenses. If we are happy we learn a big lesson; and, it proves to be of a major benefit for our future.

MENTAL SHUTDOWN

The psychology profession suggests that there are five stages of difficulty during a ‘mental shutdown’, they are:

a) Shock and shut down
b) Grief and sadness
c) Anger
d) Guilt and self doubt
e) Resistance to happiness cum a need to feel undeserving

Our emotions dominate our life; we will find it difficult not to experience all these varying stages. Sadly however we make a choice on how long these emotional rollercoaster’s will control our patterns of thought, for some that domination maybe just two or three weeks, for others it could be a few years and the few amongst us it could be a lifetime.

What ever is the cause of your mental problem is in the past; what has happened, has happened! We cannot change history. What we can do is concentrate on NOW and develop a brighter future.

ASSUMPTIONS

Again, we all make them. But what we should never do is base a major decision upon them.

Being happy is helped by making consistently good decisions. These cannot be made using assumptions.

Have you ever had an argument with your partner and eventually upon forgiveness you say, “Well I thought you meant…”

You’re making a decision upon an assumption, without the clarity that’s needed. Your life will be fraught with confusion if you rely on assumptions.

ALLOW FOR ABUNDANCE

By abundance I mean everything at your disposal. If you limit yourself you’re immediately preventing abundance from entering your life.

Allow me to illustrate… Imagine you have ordered a new kitchen, and, you’ll going to be happy once the kitchen is installed in three weeks. What, I may ask, can we expect to be cooked in your old kitchen for the next three weeks?

I’d expect very little good food! The only time any good food is cooked will be because you’ve forgotten about your limitation because you’re temporarily happy.

Any negativity produces blinkers, in so doing abundance isn’t available. If you are wearing blinkers you cannot see the full picture. The answer you need may just be out of your immediate vision.

If you walk into a library do you not feel abundance? Everything you are ever likely to need is within there. Walk into the same library when you’ve been sent by your spouse to return an overdue book and that abundance is lost; because of course you entered the library wearing blinkers.

Every day we deal with situations that we find ourselves in. Nothing new there! But will our industrial microwave or huge television screen help resolve a problem at work?

Being rich in material possessions doesn’t resolve the everyday questions that are asked of us. ALLOWING on the other hand encourages a richness and abundance. Allowing is free; abundance and knowledge is free.

It is what we get for free that counts. When we are immersed in desire for material stuff we shut-off the likelihood of abundance.

QUOTE: “When you stop chasing more of what you don’t need, you free up tremendous energy to do more with what you have, and what you have grows.” (Lynn Twist)

QUOTE: “Though we travel to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

QUOTE: “In challenging times, keep something beautiful in your heart.” (Pascal)

Article Source: http://www.newagelivingarticles.com

Mr P. Booker How to be Happy Blog

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