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Can Your Kids Really Trust You?

Let's tell ourselves the truth. If you're divorced, you have broken a big promise to your kids - that they'd have a two-parent life. Kids need to know that your promises to them will be kept, and yet this divorce was unavoidable, and maybe for reasons they would never understand. It might have undermined your kid's trust in you and you are the one they need to trust the most. So please consider their fragile state and see what you can do to grow that trust back.

You can regain their trust in this way: if you tell your children that you will do something, do it! It doesn't matter how small you think it is. If you tell them that you will make it to their soccer game, then make it to the soccer game. If you promise them a movie, rent one for them. If you tell them you won't yell so much, then don't yell so much. You get the idea. No parent is perfect, but the key element to your children's happiness is that they must be able to trust you.

Keep their secrets. Make them feel like they can talk to you about anything with out being judged. If they want to talk about your ex, let them. The ex you now are angry with is always going to be their mommy or daddy. So no matter how awful you think he/she is, your kids won't see it the way you do. They need to love them. They need to know that both of you love them. If they want to go see your ex, don't make it hard or make them feel bad about it. (by all means, use your wisdom for an unsafe situation and tell your kids as much of your reasons as they can bear.).)

So, although you're divorced, make every effort to hold yourself accountable in all situations. Keep all of the promises you make to them. If you can't keep them, then don't make the promise. Learn to keep your mouth shut a little. You might not want your children to have your ex's behavior, but you never need to say those words to them. Be the example. Kids won't simply do what you instruct them to do." Show them how to live. Show them how to love. Show them how to trust. They will learn all of these things, good or bad, from watching you.

After all is said and done, if you hold your Self accountable, you'll get one surprise benefit: you won't have to endure yet another divorce!

Article Source: http://www.newagelivingarticles.com

Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

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