Q. My teenage son is becoming interested in drinking. Although he tries to hide it, it is evident that his drinking has started. As a parent, is it a good idea to allow our teenager to drink at home? This way we can keep an eye on him, making sure he does not drink and drive. In addition, it seems like a safer way to educate him about the effect of alcohol abuse. However, we are also concerned that it may have negative reactions as well.
A. Alcohol use is a pervasive problem amongst teenagers. As a parent, it is great that you want to be involved rather than just looking the other way. Parents can be very influential in helping their teenager understand the effects of alcohol abuse. As a counselor, I have seen the negative effects of adolescent alcohol use. Here are 5 reasons why parents should not allow teenagers to drink at home.
1. Friend versus Parent
Consider your motives in wanting to allow your teenager to drink at home. Are you trying to be more of a friend than a parent? Do you want to be the "cool" parent? If this is the case, then often this plan of action backfires. Most teenagers want their parents to be just that - parents. Not their friends. It is possible to have a friendly rapport with your teenager and still maintain the final point of authority. It is called effective parenting.
2. Mixed legal messages
Allowing to your teenager to drink at home can send the message that "the law is to be obeyed for every other purpose, but teenage drinking." There are enough mixed messages that teenagers need to deal with, why add another? In addition, there may be some legal liabilities that can affect you as the parent.
3. Physical and Emotional effects
While teenagers may think they are adults, their bodies and emotions are not. Alcohol use can effect their physical development. Their brains and bodies are still developing, and alcohol use can effect their optimal development. In addition, there can be emotional effects. Alcohol is a depressant, and can lead to further depressive feelings. In addition, many teenagers may use alcohol to deal with their negative emotions rather than developing healthy coping skills
4. Substance Abuse
Teenagers in general lack appropriate and healthy boundaries, i.e., they do not know where to stop. Especially with mood altering substances, teenagers may have honest intentions to act responsibly, but they are still learning about when to stop. As a result, this can lead to patterns of substance abuse with alcohol, or alcohol and other substance abuse; especially if there is a family history of substance or alcohol abuse.
5. Manipulation
Consider whether or not this is a subtle form of manipulation from your teenager. If they are asking for you to allow them to drink at home, what is their motive? Is it peer pressure? Do they see this as a rite of passage? Regardless of their reasoning, you are the parent and pay the mortgage on the house, and thereby establish the house rules.
In the end, it is better to help your teenager learn responsibility so that when he is older, he will have the coping skills necessary for appropriate alcohol use.
Author Resource:-
Are you looking for more practical solutions for parenting your teenager? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com/ where you will find more information to help parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.
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