Getting a divorce is more than separating yourself emotionally from your spouse. It encompasses a bunch of legal issues as well. That's why, when getting a divorce, assuming that you don't want to go to the difficulties of handling the divorce procedures yourself, you'll need to find a divorce attorney. And, this choice of a divorce attorney will be the most important decision that you make, once you have decided to go through with it. Your choice will partially determine custody rights, visitation rights, asset re-allocation, and more.
So don't make this decision lightly. A good divorce lawyer will also ensure that your divorce goes through the courts as quickly as possible and will generally help to make sure that the divorce process is as pain free and stress free as possible.
If you can find a divorce lawyer that has been through a divorce himself or herself, all the better. This is a person with whom you can emotionally connect to and who will understand your problems and what you're going through on a whole different level.
Having a person represent you who can empathize with not only your legal issues, but also your personal and emotional issues, simply gives you an additional level of comfort and trust in working with the person.
One of the first thing he'll want to see and get a handle on are your financial documents listing your marital assets and liabilities. He may ask to review all tax returns that have been filed jointly or separately by your spouse in prior year.
He'll probably then ask you, starting now, to keep a notepad and write down all communications between you and your spouse consisting of the date and time, the subject matter, the issues discussed, and the resolution or lack of resolution. Most people have notoriously poor memories. But when you are in front of a judge and can state that certain things happened on a certain day and time, and you have notes to back up your claim, your case just suddenly got a lot stronger.
If children are involved, your lawyer will want to discuss custody options. As unpleasant as it is to bring up, he'll also want to discuss the children in the marriage to ensure that however custody is decided that the health and welfare of the child is preserved. In the same vein, he'll probably ask you questions about spousal abuse. In some states, spousal abuse can affect asset allocation and custody options as well.
If at all possible, a good divorce lawyer will try to reach a consensus with your partner to make the divorce as amicable as possible. The more the two partners can decide and agree on themselves, the less decisions a court has to make and the more win/win outcome for everyone. A good divorce lawyer will work with all parties in an attempt to facilitate this type of agreement.
Lawyers can be expensive. If you and your partner can agree on most issues, you can potentially save a lot of money by working out most details before consulting your lawyers, prepare the needed information in advance, and simply leave it to them to do the final paperwork.
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